Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Self

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 2005. Online image. Portfolio Center. 22 Feb 2010.

-Who am I?

Actually, I do not know who I am. I have my name, I have a nationality, I can come up with some words to describe myself; however, all of them are just the label which was additive. My parents gave me a name, Ayaka. Japanese is just a name that human created to describe the nation. Therefore, it is difficult to think what elements can explain who I am. Although I do not know how to tell who I am, I can tell that I am here now and I have a history, my memory. I think memory have an important role to indicate one's identity.

-What forces shape our sense of self?

It is hard to answer this question, but I think every external force can have an influence to us to shape our sense of self. Like I mentioned in the first question, especially, memory has an important role to define who I am. It is because the memory is a record of the personal history, and the experience gives people lessons that can influence the sense. Because of this, it is important to accept and remember all kinds of memory, even though it is painful.

-What is the central conflict of the film?

Of course Joel and Clementine had a conflict because of their different personality; however, I think the biggest conflict of the film was the conscious and unconscious. When Joel and Clementine met again after the memory surgery (that was the very beginning of the movie), Clementine said, "Have we met before?"

Although they wanted to erase the painful memory, I think they also wanted to keep the memory, like Joel said "Please let me keep this memory, just this one" when he was put into sleep to erase the memory. Therefore, I think the conflict was both internal and external.

-What is the significance of the Title?

I personally like this movie's title, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" because it strongly ties in to the theme. As previously stated, even though both Joel and Clementine erased their memory and became a "Spotless Mind," they both remembered each other unconsciously and attracted again. Although they lost their memory about each other, they had unconscious "Eternal" memory like the bright strong "Sunshine."

Slef and Song

I found a song which relates to "the Self," sang by Ikimonogakari, the Japanese singer. I think there are many mistakes because I translated the lyrics into English. (Although I searched on the Internet, I could not find the English translation) But I wish people can understand some parts.

・・・・・・・・・

"My heart as it is" (Kokoro hitotsu arugamama)

I'm standing in front of the shut door,

and I don't care how my back looks from the others.

I was looking for the "average" to feel safe.

But I'm not that kind of girl any more.

閉ざされた扉の前にたたずむあたしの背中が

どう見えるのか 何を語るか それすらに意味は無い

平均値を探して安心感に浸った憂うべき自分はもうここにはいない

・・・

I was breathing in the imagination,

and I still can see "myself," who I used to be.

This place where I am can still glitter.

I'm gonna say good bye to myself,

who wants to fake and pretend that I'm brave.

I'm moving on to my own future with my heart as it is.

想像力で息をしたあの日のあたしに逢える この場所が輝きをまた放つ

勇敢なフリをした強がるあたしを捨てて 手招く唯一無二の未来へ

心一つあるがまま

・・・

I closed my eyes and saw myself, and I was cheered by her.

To tell the truth, I knew I didn't need to fake who I am.

等身大のまま閉じた 瞼の裏側にいるいつかのあたしが背中を押して

本当は知っていた 「飾らぬあたしでいい」って

・・・

Ikimonogakari. "Kokoro hitotsu arugamama." Lifealbum. EPIC Record, 2008.

いきものがかり. "心一つあるがまま." ライフアルバム. EPIC Record, 2008.

・・・・・・・・・

I felt that this song says the inconsistency between the "Material/Spiritual Me" and "Social Me." And I think this often happens to people because many people have different "Social Me," and those can be very different than the "Material/Spiritual Me." I think we need to have some kind of "Social Me" to remain the relationships (=order) between different people, such as parents, teachers, and friends. However, having many different "Social Me" can cause the question that "Which is my true self/style?" (=chaos)

Observing People's Conversation

Sanja Gjenero. "Image ID: 1066564." 28 Aug 2008. Online image. Stock.xchang. 6 Feb 2010.

Since I speak both English and Japanese, basically I belong to two speech community. Moreover, because I am taking Chinese class, although it is a short period, I also join Chinese speech community. But the basic communities are English and Japanese. Most of the day, I need to speak English to communicate, and the main topic is about the classes and the contents we learn in the classes. Since most time I speak with people of the same age, I use casual words in my speech.

The conversation I observed was about the boy who speaker likes. The speaker was explaining how she was happy when she could be the same group with him for the group project.

Also, I paid attention when I heard people talking to catch the forms of address. People used many kinds of address, such as: First name, nickname, generic terms (buddy, guy[s], girl[s]). Although there were many ways of address, obviously people were using them to show their friendship.

-Setting and Scene

I did my observation at the dining hall on February 5th. The conversation took place during the speaker and listeners were eating lunch. Four girls, one was the speaker and others were the listeners. They seemed to be playful and excited.

-Key

In the beginning of the conversation, both speaker and listeners' tone, pitch, and loudness were normal. However, as the conversation advanced, their tone became higher, pitch became faster, and volume of the voice became louder. It was because they became excited with the content of the conversation.

-Ends

The purpose of the conversation was to tell how happy the speaker was, and to tell how she could be the same group with the boy.

-Norms

People usually know that interrupting the speaker is not good. However, because of the purpose of the conversation, when the listeners got excited, they often interrupted the speaker and asked her to tell more about the content. Although the speaker was interrupted many times, she did not seem to be angry with that. Also, all of them were frequently making eye contact. From this example, although there is a basic norm which people need to follow during the conversation, I think norm can be changed by the case.

There is a clear order in the conversation when both speaker(s) and listener(s) are in same speech community. However, it can be chaotic when speaker(s) and listener(s) have different speech community because it is hard to understand each other since they do not share same language. Also, if people do not have or lost the ability to speak or the ability to understand the language (like Genie did not have chance to develop her language ability during her critical period), the whole world may be chaotic because this world is strongly connected to the language.

Reflect on Dr. Lovett's Lecture and text

Miranda Knox. "Image ID: 88073." 1 Oct 2007. Online image. Stock.xchang. 31 Jan 2010.

When I read Oliver Sacks' text, even though I knew similar cases of losing memory, I was shocked and the story made me sad. It is because Jimmie could not share the same time with others, and because he was repeating the same time period over and over again.

However, I was relieved because Jimmie would never know that he was living in "the world of 1945" in 1975.

In the text, Sacks also says:

The horror, typically, is only felt by others -- the patient, unaware, amnesiac for his amnesia, may continue what he is doing, quite unconcerned, and only discover later that he lost not only a day (as is common with ordinary alcoholic 'blackouts'), but half a lifetime, and never knew it. The fact that one can lose the greater part of a lifetime has peculiar, uncanny horror. (Sacks 40)

However, there is another fact that one can completely be a different person, which also has peculiar, uncanny horror.

Dr. Lovett mentioned Phineas Gage's case in his lecture. Phineas had a great damage on his brain because a long iron rod went through his frontal lobes. Although he miraculously survived, since his brain was badly damaged, his personality completely changed. Before the accident, he was very responsible, thoughtful, and friendly person; however, he was no longer himself because he became emotional, stubborn, and short-tempered.

I think that Jimmie and Phineas represent both order and chaos, and it depends on whose point of view that people are seeing them.

Even though they were different from other people because of the brain problems, from their point of view, they did not have any problems. Just like Sacks said that the patients do not feel the fear because they would never know. However, from other people's point of view, since they had a brain problem, their behavior seems to be chaos.

And because it seems to be chaos, I think people feel fear.

Reflect on Benjamin Franklin and body scan

"RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve."

This is the one I tried for a day. I decided not to be negative, to do my assignments, and to concentrate. However, I could accomplish non of them and I could not keep track of them. The text says that Benjamin Franklin tried little by little to accomplish everything because it is hard to do everything at same time.

In my case, I could not accomplish and order myself like Benjamin did. May be it is because I was not used to order myself, and I tried to do too many things in same time.

Chaos can be solved by orders; however, too many orders can make chaos.

Also, the image above is the result of my body log. I did not notice the pain before I tried to scan myself, and even though I felt a little pain, it did not affect to my performance. I think that chaos and order can exist together in same time. Like we read in Night, for one side it may be chaos and for other side it may be order.

Memoir and History

Sanja Gjenero. "Image ID: 637320." 14 Oct 2006. Online image. Stock.xchang. 24 Jan 2010.

Q- The literary genre to which this book belongs is memoir. One might make a case that it is also history. How do these two genres each contribute to the reader’s understanding of Eliezer’s story? Is memoir a good source of historical "fact"? Why/why not?

I think the big difference between memoir and history is that memoir is based on writer's point of view and history does not include someone's point of view. This book, Night, is based on the true story of the Holocaust; however, obviously it is also including writer's, Eliezer’s point of view such as what he felt and thought. Moreover, his position/status as Jewish affects the story. Since history needs to be objective, it shows both side of the Holocaust such as the Nazis' side and Jewish side. However, because Night is written by Eliezer and it is all based on what he saw, heard, and experienced, it only includes Jewish side.

Although memoir tends to be subjective, it sometimes shows detailed information than the history because it is a very broad objective category. I cannot say memoir is always a good source of historical "fact". Since both memoir and history can be falsified, the most important thing is that each person needs to judge carefully that what is a reliable source as a historical fact.

Professor Denis' Lecture

Brit Olam The International Israeli-Jewish Volunteer Movement. 2009. Web. 21 Jan 2010.

Before I attended to professor Denis' lecture, I did not know that "art" had existed during the Holocaust because I thought people could not create something artistic in such a cruel situation. Therefore, I was so surprised with the amount of the drawings, and those drawings had an enough power to tell me how Holocaust was an inhuman act. I cannot find appropriate words to describe them, but the drawings were both beautiful and frightening.

In the lecture, professor Denis mentioned that even though artists were in a horrible situation, they kept drawing because they could give a voice to the deads. Also, he introduced us a quote that "victims' hearts are forever broken and human being should know what happened."

I believe thoes arts have a really strong voice of the victims which we should listen to.